Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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