I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
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