so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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