I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Randomize
