i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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