At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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