it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize