Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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