I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
