That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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