I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
