That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
