My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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