I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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