I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
