I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
