How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
