so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
