i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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