I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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