I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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