I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize