Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize