nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
All I want is dick and wine.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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