how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
