plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
