doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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