i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
