I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
