You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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