Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
dude i'm inner monologue high
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
