I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
