Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
