And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
