fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
