i used baking grease as lip gloss
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
