There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
