Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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