careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
