Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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