I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
