8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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