we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Congratulations! We have a period
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