Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Randomize
