omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
