very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
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