Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize