hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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