Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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