i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
