so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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