i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
