Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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