its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
