Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
