STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
