Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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