If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
