When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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