I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
