Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize