You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
