oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
