They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
