you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
