is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
