Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
organizing the empties. That sober.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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