haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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