we have officially mastered the walk of shame
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
