Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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