the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
