If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
