Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
