So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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