I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
